Conflict

Hello! I had a fight with my sister tonight. Only, it wasn't really called a fight because somehow the word "fight" has some physical connotations, which our squabble (haha such a cute word, squabble. ) did not. So basically, it was something quite straightforward, where only two parties were involved (she and me) and the problem was very simple. If something is placed somewhere at night but ends up somewhere else in the morning, and there are only two people who share that room, it's most likely that one of them moved it during the course of the night, no? In this case, it was my thing that was moved. Naturally, if i know that i didn't touch it, then my sister must have moved it. So it was with this mindset that I listened to her side of things and obviously, we had a disagreement. She began to raise her voice, with her tone getting harder and her manner more indignant. 'Well', I reasoned, 'if it wasn't me, it's got to be her' and so I listened but didn't believe. Now you must understand that when I brought this matter up, it was simply an observation, with no malice intended on my part; and so I really couldn't understand why she was getting so agitated.

It took quite a while, and a lot of explaining to help me see that what she was upset about was not that I was angry with her for moving my stuff (for I really wasn't) but for my continual insistence that she DID move it even though she had said she didn't. In other words, she was mad that I didn't trust her. And that caught me up short. It didn't even occur to me that it really doesn't matter who moved my cheese (hehehh) but rather, that I should believe my sister when she tells me something that she feels is right, to the best of her knowledge. I shouldn't have let something so small ruffle my feathers and been so hasty to accuse, without considering things from the other person's point of view. If there really is no logical explanation for what happened (not her, not me; but it could only have been one of us) then just let the matter go, and not even think about it anymore. For my relationship with my sister is worth so much more than whatever bit of self-satisfaction I could have gotten from being in the right. All these petty arguments are fleeting and you won't even remember them tomorrow. What you do remember is how you felt and to feel that you love your sister more than the feeling of always being right is something that is priceless. Every relationship is built on trust; and there's no exception to that rule. To look at the big picture and realise what's most important. That's what resolves conflict, both inside and out.