Confessions

Do you ever feel like you're going to pop? So weary of the world and your responsibilities and just people and like you need things to slow down and let you rest, or catch your breath and collect your thoughts? Well, that's kind of how I feel right now. so tired. I feel like I've been so caught up going through each day and its activities that I've lost track of what's really important and what truly matters. 

I have a confession to make. I've been holding this in so long it's aging me, stretching me to my limit and I feel close to snapping. I'm living two lives. Haha. No, it's not actually as crazy as it sounds. but what I'm trying to say is I behave differently in school than I do at home. Or rather, speak differently and think differently. Does that qualify as keeping up a front? like a facade. That's what it feels like sometimes. And I don't even know how that came about. I just behave how I think other people expect me to. Because if I be myself, people might not understand me or they might judge me and dislike me for that. But is being spurned for what you are better than being disliked for what you pretend to be? At least in the former, you stay true to yourself and you're honest and forthcoming. What are you in the latter? quite hypocritical I would say. I came up with this saying, not long ago that goes "The best answer to Friendship's call is to build bridges, not walls". But now I'm starting to find that that's easier said than done. Sometimes I catch myself thinking "I should take my own advise more often". so hypocritical. That's such a nasty sounding word. Hypocritical. But then there's the other saying, "the truth hurts". and so it does.